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He sees me.

I did a guest post last week over at House of Belonging.
I don’t want to re-post the same post, but I do want to share with you, my dear readers,
something amazing and beautiful and encouraging that the Lord is doing in my life.
I know deep down in my heart that this is my word for 2011.  HOPE.

Last week, I was having a particularly hard week.
My husband and boys were at a basketball game and our daughter was down for the night.
It was one of those nights when I knew that God was the only one who could handle me.
As I sat down, I sort of breathed a prayer asking God to lead me to the truth that he had for me.
As I opened my bible, it opened up to Genesis chapter 16.

I’ve read this book in the bible countless times in my life, but on that night, it was exactly what I needed.
The truth of that chapter reached down into the exact place in my heart that needed it
And hope overwhelmed me.
In this chapter, Abram and his wife had not been able to have children.
His wife, Sarai told him to lay with her maidservant and build their family through her.
In chapter 15, God had already promised them that their offspring would be as many as the stars.
But, Sarai struggled to believe, and she took her life into her own hands.

So, Abram lays with Hagar and she conceives a child whose name became Ishmael.
Hagar began to despise her mistress, Sarai.
Sarai mistreated Hagar so she fled from her. 

In verse 7 it says, “The angel of the Lord found Hagar…”

The Lord found her near a spring in the desert.
She didn’t have to search for God.
He found her and spoke to her.
In verse thirteen it says,
“She gave this name to the Lord who spoke to her: “You are the God who sees me,”
for she said, “I have now seen the One who sees me.” 

The only part of the story that I didn’t quite understand until today is in verse 9
when the Lord tells Hagar to go back to Abram and Sarai.
It kind of made me mad.
She’d been mistreated and shouldn’t have to go back and face them.
Today it finally all made sense to me.
I don’t think that all of us who are mistreated have to physically go back and face those that hurt us…
but I do think that we have to emotionally, spiritually and mentally go back and face the hurt.
I think it’s the only way we can really move through it to the other side of forgiveness.
We have to face it in the light of God’s truth and trust that he can bring healing to our hearts.
I have been overwhelmed by Hope and I hope that you are, too.
If you are in a season, like me, where you’re having to re-visit some former hurt or pain,
you can rest assured that God sees you and that he is at work.
The more aware I become of my inability to make myself whole, the more whole I become.



theelizabethhighsmith - Emotions rises with reading every word you wrote, your pausing to pass on the reminder to me of Our God Who Sees, is truth making whole, and it will travel. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart and for passing on the Hope, Grateful for you and for Our God who sees us.

Theresa - Wow. I really, really, needed to hear this. I, too, am struggling with a past hurt..wondering if I should have/could have done something different..wondering if to forgive means to forget…how do you forget? Am I being judgmental? I don’t want to be. Maybe I need to open it up again…but I am afraid of getting hurt…so, so many emotions…THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU for posting this!

Tessa - song 4 on my playlist…have a listen if you’ve never heard it. love it, your post reminded me of it. “Hope Now” by Addison Road.
Profound last sentence in your post, my dear!! So true though, right?!
xo, Tessa

Megan - Wow Tara, this is a beautiful post that I have been blessed by. You do such an amazing job of communicating your faith and God’s perfect love for each one of us. Such a honest picture of God finding, seeing and leading us to healing. I hope for you too and pray that you continue to feel Him making you new.

Amy in CA - Tara –

I am so blessed by your blog, but this is my first time commenting. Your post has been such a Godsend to me tonight! For the past 2 months my husband and I have been in a very difficult situation with his parents. It has been tremendously stressful and hard. A wrong was done on their side, and we are in the position of praying through that and figuring out how to rebuild the relationship. Your words remind me 1) not to underestimate the ability of God to “find me/us” in all of this, and 2) not to neglect my Bible during this time. I thank you for your words tonight, through tears.

LLH Designs - 1. I love the title of this post.
2. I never would’ve known you were having a hard week. Thanks for sharing.
3. I love your last line. Amen, sister.

Xo,
Linsey

Hailey - This was perfect timing. I’ve been having some real past hurt and forgiveness issues lately. Usually I can just ignore it, but I’m pretty sure God really wants me to start working on it. Thank you for this! I’m reading through the Bible right now and read this chapter not that long ago. I thought the same thing… “Why would God tell her to go BACK??” What great insight you have! :)

Michele - Amen sister. Beautiful, and the absolute truth, which is what we always need to go back to. Praying for God’s peace to overwhelm you as you walk this path.

GLENDA CHILDERS - I loved your phrase . . . you knew that only God could handle you (or something like that.) You are a wise lady to go to God’s word and ask Him to meet you there. Thanks for reminding me that God is my only and constant hope.

Fondly,
Glenda

These Are The Days - Loved your other post and LOVE this one too. Helps me more than you know. Thank you.

Patti - Such true words. The times when I finally ‘surrender’ and breath that prayer of ‘help’ God always comes. Always. I don’t know why it still amazes me..or surprises me…but it does. I think sometimes we don’t feel worthy of his love and help. He so loves us. All of us..
May he keep his arms wrapped warmly around you in this season you are in. Every step you take he’ll be right there, giving you strength to heal.
Tara, you are such a wonderful, sweet, compassionate, Godly woman whom I admire and love so much (even with only spending a little bit of time with you)your heart shows through and you make strangers feel like friends immediately. Know your worth girlfriend! You are awesome!!!!!! =)
Patti

Kim - God opened my eyes to this story in the past few weeks. I’ve been reading ” Do you know who I am? ” by Angela Thomas.. We all know in our minds who God is in our lives, but this book has really helped me get it into my heart. With this story, Angela explains that Hagar was blessed later in her life because she was *obedient*. God didn’t want her to go back to a harmful situation, and He was certainly hurting for her, but He knew she needed to go back… and through her *obedience*, she received great blessings. :)

Janie Fox - You are a blessing to me. Thanks for your words. xoxo

Farmgirl Paints - This is what we talked about in my bible study class this week…Sarai, Abram and Hagar. I think in addition to facing her past, God was also using her to play into the future. Her son becomes a very influential person in history. God has a plan for everything. Even when things look like a mistake or a bit off course…HE has a reason for it.

Tiffini - no words….overwhelmed
xo:)

Hershey's Moma - “And hope overwhelmed me.” Beautiful. You are being used for his glory. What a blessing.

Jennifer Rizzo - What a great post. Our church has ben going through a series with us that is very similar. God sees us and we need to see Him too.

Woodard Gang - Well said and greatly needed to hear…thanks :)

Nicole - Beautifully said!

Ginger - So beautiful.

Cha Cha - Again, beautiful. So glad I am not the only one that gets mad at things in the Bible, I had the hardest time with the prodigal sons brother for the longest time. I am him, the do the right thing person, but it took a long time to understand I was doing it out of legalism and not out of my heart, that was a big day for me.

Glad God is freeing you from all of this,
Cha Cha

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