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Giving Thanks with a Grateful Heart.

A Mother

My head can be a little like Fort Knox. I love to laugh and have fun and make great memories, but deep down, behind the scenes, I’m planning for anything that could possibly go wrong.

If you’ve ever been anywhere around water with our family, then you know it’s true. It’s the same in crowded places. It’s all fun and games until I can’t spot one of my kids, then I go bonkers in 2.3 seconds. It borders on absolute crazy.

I thought it would get better once they weren’t newborns. Then, I thought it would get better when they weren’t toddlers. Fourteen years into this, I’m beginning to realize that it’s just part of parenting. It’s the great tug of war…daily surrendering them back to God, who is sovereign over everything they’ll ever encounter.

I promise that nothing in my life has made me as vulnerable as mothering. I don’t have the power to always fix, always protect and always keep from harm.

They get sick. They get heartbroken. They get to be the bud of a joke. Or worse.

I’m always grateful to be a mother, but today my heart feels like it might burst with thankfulness.

God is dealing with all the reasons my head is Fort Knox. He’s healing those inner-most parts that have been afraid to trust him, no matter what unfolds in their stories. He’s being so gracious and patient with me, as I release my grip on them one.finger.at.a.time.

It feels good to cast all my cares on him and know that he cares for me and for them.

What is parenting teaching you? What are you thankful for today?

Kerrie - I understand. I have been there. Now that my children are all young adults in careers and college I finally feel free from all worry for them. Though I went through some serious testing in entrusting them completely to God when my oldest was a teen and ran away from home for an entire summer. That was a heart wrenching time. But God is faithful and loves him more than I ever could. My son grew closer to the Lord through that season and is such a calm, peaceful soul now. His love is jealeous for us…for the whole world. xxo

Kim-in-the-Cove - I think every mother wrestles with this. Deep in our hearts, we aren’t ready to release our children to God’s care, just in case He’s too busy to ‘really’ watch them — or worse, He is watching them but allows something to happen anyway and wants us to find comfort in His peace with whatever the fallout may be. I don’t have that kind of faith – but who does? But as you say, God is patient with us. He knows our hearts. He loves us. He loves our children. And He walks with us as we find our way through this and all the other challenges of motherhood. :)

I really enjoy your blog, btw.

Shannon @Lady's Little Loves - Parenting is teaching me absolute patience when I think I have none left. It is teaching me to prioritize my time, to try my best at giving my wee ones everything they need, and how to be a better version of myself.

Lori H - i am so with you on this! It is a little bit easier for me now that they are in college, because I don’t know everything they are doing, but let one of them call and have a problem (“Mom, I am having a lot of jaw pain all of a sudden”) and they are THERE and I am HERE and I am in a panic (jaw cancer? stress so bad that they grind their teeth? wisdom teeth?). So hard to let go and let God. I figure He knows that mamas are like that and He hopes we will trust Him :)

Bohemian Valhalla - I’ve been consecutively Parenting little ones for well over thirty years now and it has taught me so much, especially about myself! You are absolutely right though, as a Parent you never stop Parenting just because they’re grown. We’re custodial G-Parents of two of our G-Kids and I do find that at this more ‘mature’ season of life my Parenting is much more relaxed and I don’t sweat the small stuff or what’s not permanent. Cute Story though… a Friend of mine is in her late Seventies and her Mom is in her Nineties… and one day I was talking to her Mom and she was telling me how ‘worried’ she was about her Daughter… so see, it never really diminishes with mere Age, they’re ALWAYS our Babies after all! *Winks*

And in answer to the 2nd part of your question, I’m Thankful FOR TODAY! Old Age is a privilege not afforded to many, so each day on this side of Time and Eternity is something I’m Thankful for! I’m Blessed to have been a Parent, a Grandparent and a Great-Grandparent already in my Lifetime, that is MUCH to be Thankful for!

Merry Christmas from the Arizona Desert… Dawn… The Bohemian

Sally - Amen and amen. I get this. After about 18 years of parenting, I finally learned to let go and let God (most days). But still, every day, I have to remind myself that as much as I love my kids and think I know what’s good for them, God loves them more, and knows what’s BEST for them. You are not alone, my friend. xo Merry Christmas! ~Sally @DrinkingFromMySaucer

Lisa - Beautiful words. I feel like my biggest challenge right now is protecting them from me. My quickness of temper or annoyance. I am always so afraid I am squelching their little dreams or desires. Trying to pick the, saying no because it is easier for me or saying yes, battle. Am I a good balance of discipline and love? Always wondering and wishing and praying for this.

LLH Designs - I can’t stop staring at that amazing photo of your children on the back of an old pickup truck long enough to give serious thought to your good words. Goodness…I’m in love with that photo! xo!

Becky @Farmgirl Paints - I feel like Lisa above. I’m searching for the balance. Tired and irritable a lot lately. Not much left over. Parenting is teaching me that I’m just not enough on my own. Plain and simple.

jodi - what a great post and a sweet picture of the kiddos!
I know how you feel, I can’t tell you it ever gets easier…my daughter is now 16, behind the wheel and also sporting a boyfriend! My worries and concerns have changed channels so many times as she has grown…from, don’t let her run, she’ll fall and hurt herself, to I hope she makes friends when she goes to school, I hope she makes the right decisions and please god let her get home safe on the bad roads!
I am just glad i am not the only one dealing with this!
Take care and Merry Christmas! :)
Jodi

Lemonade Makin' Mama - Girl I am the exact same way. I keep getting that same verse thrown at me lately- the cast your cares on Him one… I even remember being a little girl and I had a tape called Psalty the singing Psalm book… it had a story on it with songs and such, and the theme was trusting God with all your cares. I always remember that little tape and the song too whenever I read the verse. I know there are a million deep reasons I freak out and wait for the other shoe to drop… part of me thinks I will always be like that… Oh man I wish we were chewing on this topic over coffee. I laugh too at the calm until I can’t spot one and then I freak out part… GiRl! That is so ME!

Just makes me love ya even more.

Brandy - I love this picture. You have some beautiful children. My girls ages almost 13 and 15 are teaching me to appreciate their independence. I love that they are becoming their own people. We may not always agree but I am glad to see they have the courage to defend their views. I am thankful that even though teenagers can be challenging, my girls are good girls with a strong sense of faith. I love being their Mama! Thanks for making me think about this today!
Brandy

Shonda Barbour - I can totally understand where you’re coming from. I can still remember the days when my daughter was at home. I often felt like I was flying a kite, letting the string out a little at a time, then all of a sudden I would get this crazy urge to yank on the string and bring the kite back home. All because of fears from our enemy! So many times I had to run to God for my help and peace. He was and is faithful! My daughter is no longer at home, but happily married and living for God. God bless you & your sweet family!

Kathy - Great picture! Really wonderful. I am learning to trust, just as you are so very good at describing. My oldest son is in college. Away most of the year. And we have two sons in high school. I am deeply grateful to be their mother. Mothering has been a tremendously humbling experience. To be able to so personally bear witness to the glorious miracle of life and to so vividly see the need for grace in my life, is a treasure. It certainly has been a journey. I have learned much! By the way, I have a Seth and Luke, too! With a Mark in the middle.

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